Sometimes, you have to wonder (at least, I do, and often at that), 'how far can I take this Christmas-generated innocence?' Well let me show dear reader, how far I have taken exploiting my dear siblings' gullibility with a list of:
CHRISTMAS MYTHS**
-Fabricated by yours truly :)
1) All stockings must be sewn by elves, otherwise, they shall not fill up with loot.
2) If one of the 'Rules of Christmas' is broken, then a present will mysteriously vanish.
3) A 'Rule of Christmas' is anything that Shorty says to do or not do. For example, trying to spy on me while I'm wrapping gifts in my room, breaks a rule of Christmas.
4) If you get some one in trouble on Christmas Eve, then the next day they get your presents.
5) Being quiet through out all of December, makes Christmas come faster.
6) If you don't check and water the tree every day, IT WILL SPONTANEOUSLY EXPLODE!
7) Listening to Christmas music anytime before Thanksgiving will result in coal. No exceptions.
8) Conversely, not listening to Christmas music after Thanksgiving will also result in coal.
9) Gaining five pounds from eating too much junk is just the physical manifestation of the Christmas spirit.
10) During the holiday season, if some irritates you, perhaps cutting you off for the parking spot you've been waiting for, yelling "MERRY FLIPPIN' CHRISTMAS!" will some how rectify the situation.
Some people will never learn.
And yes, I know it's two days after Christmas. I do what I want, ok?
**Whether or not you choose to believe these 'myths' is completely up to you, but I wouldn't chance it.
-Shorty
-Shorty
